Heat 1 tablespoon oil and 1 tablespoon ghee in the same pan over medium. Add cumin, bay leaf, cinnamon, and cardamom. Let them smell fragrant, about 20 seconds.
Add the yogurt-cashew paste. Cook 6 to 8 minutes, stirring, until it thickens and a few oil specks show at the edges. If it sticks, splash in a tablespoon of water. The paste should stay pale, not gold.
Take the pan off the heat. Add the remaining 1/3 cup whisked yogurt and stir fast until it disappears into the paste.
Return the pan to low heat. Add salt. Stir 20 seconds.
Add 1/2 cup water or milk. I swirl that liquid in the blender jar first so no paste is wasted. Simmer 3 to 4 minutes until the gravy looks smooth and coats a spoon. Add the extra 1/4 cup if it is too thick.
Stir in 2 tablespoons cream, 1/2 teaspoon crushed pepper, garam masala, and 1 teaspoon crushed kasuri methi.
Add the seared paneer. Simmer 2 to 3 minutes on low, just until the cubes are hot. Do not boil hard or the paneer tightens.