Heat the ghee and butter in the same pan over medium. Add cumin, bay leaf, cinnamon, and the remaining cardamom. Let them smell fragrant, about 20 seconds.
Add the white nut paste. Cook 6 to 8 minutes, stirring, until a few oil specks show at the edges. If it sticks, splash in a tablespoon of water. The paste should stay ivory, not gold.
Take the pan off the heat. Add the whisked yogurt and stir fast until it disappears into the paste.
Return the pan to low heat. Add salt and the slit chilies. Stir 20 seconds.
Add 3/4 cup milk. I swirl that milk in the blender jar first so no paste is wasted. Simmer 4 to 5 minutes until the gravy looks smooth and coats a spoon.
Stir in 2 tablespoons cream. Add the paneer. Simmer 2 to 3 minutes on low, just until the cubes are hot. Do not boil hard or the paneer tightens.
Crush kasuri methi between your palms if using and stir it in. Take the pan off the heat. Add 2 to 3 drops kewra or 1 teaspoon rose water. Stir in the saffron milk. Taste. Add a pinch of salt if the nuts taste shy.